Hi Family,
Sorry for the delay in updating you about Dad. I just wondered if anyone ever checked this but found out from my Uncle that it was missed, so I will continue for now.
Dad has kind of adjusted to life at the Nursing Home. He doesn't really know where he is . . . part of the time he thinks he's in jail. Mom and I usually tell him he's in the hospital when he asks us "what is this place?" The biggest challenge for the nursing home staff is getting him to stay seated in his wheelchair. He doesn't remember that he can't stand up or walk, so he's continually (at times) trying to get out of the wheelchair. He's fallen a couple of times but thankfully hasn't been hurt. They have put him in a bed that's low to the floor with yoga-type mats on both sides of the bed, so if he tries to get up a night he won't fall out and get hurt. They are very caring and good to him there. They call me for every little thing, whether it's a slight change in medication or therapy, and I appreciate it. I don't always tell Mom what's going on, as she gets upset over everything. I try to be selective in what I tell her and not upset her if I don't think there's a real reason to. She and I have talked about this and I think she knows where I'm coming from. This is a really big change in her life, without having Dad at home. I'm proud of the way she has dealt with it. I didn't think she would get along so well by herself, but she has surprised me. With all the love she and Dad have had for each other for the past 59 years, the stress of the last couple of years living with someone that's progressing in this disease has been a struggle. So even though she may feel a little guilty, I suspect there's a little bit of a feeling of freedom there. I want you all to know how much your phone calls have meant to her, so PLEASE PLEASE continue to call and check on her and keep in touch!
So I try to go see Dad as much as I can, even if it's for a short visit. A lot of the time when I go there, he's asleep. There are times when he is more "at himself" or "with it" than others. I usually try to take him a cheeseburger from Wendy's, just because he loves them. Mom and I went on Tuesday and he was "out of it". They had just done a medicine change, and he was having trouble holding his head up and staying awake. We finally asked them to put him to bed, he was just miserable sitting in that chair. I had planned to go today, but when I called he was asleep.
This is an emotional roller-coaster that we're on. I know there's no hope of a cure. There are days that he seems almost like his old self, and then there are days when it seems like my Dad is no longer there. Just last week, we had an actual conversation, where he told me he was retired and used to work selling insurance and in the mines, and that he was in the Navy. The time before that, he babbled the whole visit. But when I told him goodbye and asked him if he knew who I was, he looked right at me and said, "You're Peggy . . . Peggy Ellen. . . my baby girl."
Of course, I cried all the way home.
Tomorrow is Sunday. We plan to visit him, and I'll let you know.
Love to all of you. Your prayers keep us strong.
Peggy
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Monday, December 17, 2007
Mon., 12/17
Just a quick update to let you know what's going on. Donny was in for a couple of days last week and enjoyed some time with Mom. He and I went to see Dad for a while on Friday while Mom was at dialysis. Dad's first reaction to seeing us was "Are we going home now?" It's really hard to visit him when he's constantly badgering you as to why he's there and he wants to go home. Mom has a hard time with that too. Anyway, he did know Donny and me and that was good. We didn't stay very long and took him into the Activity Room and said goodbye. They were getting ready to play "Penny Ante", whatever that is.
Mom and I went to see him Saturday and he was asleep. We stayed about a half hour and couldn't get him to stay awake long enough to talk to us. We went to Cracker Barrel and had dinner and then I took her home.
Yesterday, the 16th, was Mom's 80th birthday. Thanks to everyone who called, and she had a lot of calls. I think that got her through the day. The weather was so bad by the time she got ready to go visit Dad that we didn't go. So my daughter and son-in-law came over and fixed her VCR so that she could watch a movie (which she loves to do). It was also their 59th (I think) wedding anniversary. She didn't mention that and neither did I. I thought it might be painful for her.
To those of you who read this: please keep the calls and cards coming! Sometimes it's easy to forget there are people out there thinking of you and holding you up in prayer, and that's what's getting us through this time - God's help.
Love to all,
Peggy
Mom and I went to see him Saturday and he was asleep. We stayed about a half hour and couldn't get him to stay awake long enough to talk to us. We went to Cracker Barrel and had dinner and then I took her home.
Yesterday, the 16th, was Mom's 80th birthday. Thanks to everyone who called, and she had a lot of calls. I think that got her through the day. The weather was so bad by the time she got ready to go visit Dad that we didn't go. So my daughter and son-in-law came over and fixed her VCR so that she could watch a movie (which she loves to do). It was also their 59th (I think) wedding anniversary. She didn't mention that and neither did I. I thought it might be painful for her.
To those of you who read this: please keep the calls and cards coming! Sometimes it's easy to forget there are people out there thinking of you and holding you up in prayer, and that's what's getting us through this time - God's help.
Love to all,
Peggy
Monday, December 10, 2007
My Day with Mom
Dad has been a little agitated lately and wants to know why he can't come home. My brother Chuck made a good observation. He said he doesn't think Dad means the home in Dunbar that he shared with Mom, because even when he was there (in recent months), he would make comments like "What is this place? This isn't our home; I want to go home." So who knows where "home" is to him? Anyway, it's been upsetting Mom to the point that she said the other day that she was bringing him home.
That was on Saturday and I had planned to take Mom to visit him in the Nursing Home and then do some errands while she visited. The evening shift staff had called me three times the evening before saying that he was bugging them about seeing his wife and wanting to go home, that he wasn't sleeping at night and they were having to leave him sitting in his wheelchair by the nursing station because he was always trying to get out of it and in danger of falling. So Saturday when we got there, he was asleep in his wheelchair at the nursing station. We wheeled him back to his room so that he and Mom could visit, where he immediately fell asleep again. Mom said he looked so uncomfortable sitting like that and asked to have him put in bed where he could rest better. I was busy collecting his dirty laundry, etc., and getting ready to leave. Mom was sitting there beside his bed and all of a sudden decided that she didn't want to stay there while he slept and get more depressed, so she went with me. We went to Peeble's and exchanged some things for her and then went to eat at Fazoli's and even went to a movie! We had a great time and I got her home about 7 that evening, slightly tired but not depressed any more.
Will write more later,
Peg
That was on Saturday and I had planned to take Mom to visit him in the Nursing Home and then do some errands while she visited. The evening shift staff had called me three times the evening before saying that he was bugging them about seeing his wife and wanting to go home, that he wasn't sleeping at night and they were having to leave him sitting in his wheelchair by the nursing station because he was always trying to get out of it and in danger of falling. So Saturday when we got there, he was asleep in his wheelchair at the nursing station. We wheeled him back to his room so that he and Mom could visit, where he immediately fell asleep again. Mom said he looked so uncomfortable sitting like that and asked to have him put in bed where he could rest better. I was busy collecting his dirty laundry, etc., and getting ready to leave. Mom was sitting there beside his bed and all of a sudden decided that she didn't want to stay there while he slept and get more depressed, so she went with me. We went to Peeble's and exchanged some things for her and then went to eat at Fazoli's and even went to a movie! We had a great time and I got her home about 7 that evening, slightly tired but not depressed any more.
Will write more later,
Peg
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Up to now (12/4/07)
It seemed to happen so suddenly. One day things were bearable . . . the next day they weren't. That was Thanksgiving. I went to Mom and Dad's to begin cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Letting myself in through the back door, Mom called from the bathroom and asked me to see if I could wake Dad up. He had fallen asleep in his chair at the breakfast table in the kitchen. I shook him gently and he seemed to rouse. I said, "Come on, Dad, let's go get in your chair in the living room." He seemed very disoriented and when I tried to help him stand, it was like he couldn't remember how to walk. He would move his foot up and back a few inches without going anywhere. I sat him back down and went to the living room to get Mom's walker. With the help of the walker, I finally got him into the living room and into his recliner. He fell asleep and slept the entire time I was preparing dinner. He woke and made his way with the help of the walker and my son, Todd, into the kitchen for dinner. After dinner it was back to the living room and his chair, where he immediately fell back asleep.
For the next couple of days, he seemed to improve a little. Then on Sunday, I called Mom on my way to church. She said he had awakened her at 3 AM and was very disoriented, talking incoherently. I went down after church to see what I could do to help. I talked him into letting me help him take a shower and then did a little housework. After being there a couple of hours, I didn't see anything else I could do to help, so I met my daughter and her husband for lunch. A short while later, I received a call from a family member who had spoken with Mom and was concerned about Dad. So I went back to check on things. Dad had been awake all day (since 3 AM) and was talking almost non-stop but not making any sense. Mom later said he told her she wasn't his wife and he couldn't sleep with her because "people would talk". She said she couldn't get him to go to bed until around Midnight.
The next day, Monday, Mom had dialysis as usual. I told her I would stay with Dad because she was worried about him. My brother Chuck picked her up for dialysis and I told her that I was going to call the doctor and, depending on what he said, Dad may be going to the hospital. At this point, about 11:30 AM, he was still asleep. I finally got him to wake up at 1 PM and got him to the bathroom by supporting him from behind and walking him into the bathroom. He peed all over the bathroom floor and himself. I sat him down in a chair right outside the bathroom door and took him pajamas off. I put a Depends diaper on him and washed his feet. Then I dressed him and, with the help of the walker, got him into the kitchen for breakfast. After feeding him his breakfast, it seemed to exhaust him to walk with the walker's help into the living room, where he collapsed in his chair and fell asleep immediately. I called the doctor and was told that he need to be seen in the ER. It was 3 PM by this time and Chuck had come back down to help me decide what to do. We called the ambulance and had him taken to St. Francis.
All kinds of tests were run . . . blood work, EKGs, CAT scans, but everything seemed fairly normal, except his blood pressure was very low and the CAT scan showed atropy in his brain, which is consistent with Alzheimer's Disease. He was admitted to the hospital, where he stayed until Friday. On Friday, 11/30, he was transported to Sunbridge in Dunbar, a nursing home.
It is now Tuesday PM, and I am amazed at how well he is adapting. He is quickly becoming a favorite at the nursing home. He is in physical therapy 5 times a week for the first four weeks, and they are trying to teach him how to walk again. I had a meeting today with the staff and they are pleased at how he is participating. He played "basketball" with waste paper and an inflatable hoop on Saturday, and yesterday came in 2nd in the Spelling Bee. He has an insatiable appetite and is eating everything they bring him. He greatly enjoys Mom's visits and seems to think he's at home most of the time. Yesterday evening he was asleep after physical therapy when I went in to see him and when I told him not to get up, he said "Is Mommy up yet?" Today when Mom and I were leaving, he said "How are we going to get home?" I told him he was staying there until he got better and he said, "Oh, that's right, I forgot." Of course, Mom misses him terribly, but he is much safer and I think improving with the interaction and stimulation of being around other people.
I'll write more later.
For the next couple of days, he seemed to improve a little. Then on Sunday, I called Mom on my way to church. She said he had awakened her at 3 AM and was very disoriented, talking incoherently. I went down after church to see what I could do to help. I talked him into letting me help him take a shower and then did a little housework. After being there a couple of hours, I didn't see anything else I could do to help, so I met my daughter and her husband for lunch. A short while later, I received a call from a family member who had spoken with Mom and was concerned about Dad. So I went back to check on things. Dad had been awake all day (since 3 AM) and was talking almost non-stop but not making any sense. Mom later said he told her she wasn't his wife and he couldn't sleep with her because "people would talk". She said she couldn't get him to go to bed until around Midnight.
The next day, Monday, Mom had dialysis as usual. I told her I would stay with Dad because she was worried about him. My brother Chuck picked her up for dialysis and I told her that I was going to call the doctor and, depending on what he said, Dad may be going to the hospital. At this point, about 11:30 AM, he was still asleep. I finally got him to wake up at 1 PM and got him to the bathroom by supporting him from behind and walking him into the bathroom. He peed all over the bathroom floor and himself. I sat him down in a chair right outside the bathroom door and took him pajamas off. I put a Depends diaper on him and washed his feet. Then I dressed him and, with the help of the walker, got him into the kitchen for breakfast. After feeding him his breakfast, it seemed to exhaust him to walk with the walker's help into the living room, where he collapsed in his chair and fell asleep immediately. I called the doctor and was told that he need to be seen in the ER. It was 3 PM by this time and Chuck had come back down to help me decide what to do. We called the ambulance and had him taken to St. Francis.
All kinds of tests were run . . . blood work, EKGs, CAT scans, but everything seemed fairly normal, except his blood pressure was very low and the CAT scan showed atropy in his brain, which is consistent with Alzheimer's Disease. He was admitted to the hospital, where he stayed until Friday. On Friday, 11/30, he was transported to Sunbridge in Dunbar, a nursing home.
It is now Tuesday PM, and I am amazed at how well he is adapting. He is quickly becoming a favorite at the nursing home. He is in physical therapy 5 times a week for the first four weeks, and they are trying to teach him how to walk again. I had a meeting today with the staff and they are pleased at how he is participating. He played "basketball" with waste paper and an inflatable hoop on Saturday, and yesterday came in 2nd in the Spelling Bee. He has an insatiable appetite and is eating everything they bring him. He greatly enjoys Mom's visits and seems to think he's at home most of the time. Yesterday evening he was asleep after physical therapy when I went in to see him and when I told him not to get up, he said "Is Mommy up yet?" Today when Mom and I were leaving, he said "How are we going to get home?" I told him he was staying there until he got better and he said, "Oh, that's right, I forgot." Of course, Mom misses him terribly, but he is much safer and I think improving with the interaction and stimulation of being around other people.
I'll write more later.
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