A Pretty Good Visit

The last week or so has been rough! Since writing my last entry on Feb. 1, I've been to the Nursing Home every day. Mom and I went on Saturday and Sunday, and he didn't seem to know us. She cried all weekend and called the out-of-town kids telling them that they if they want to see their Dad, they'd better come soon. He's now having trouble swallowing, and they have him on a pureed diet with thickeners in his liquid so he doesn't get choked when he drinks. His confusion continues, he babbles and you can understand some words, while others are garbled. Anyway, Mom was heartbroken that her worst fears had come to pass, that he no longer remembered her. I tried to tell her that I felt that he did know her at some level, but maybe just couldn't voice it.

He seems to be doing better about sleeping at night. They've changed some of his meds, and I also told Mom that that may be why he seems more confused. They now have him on pain meds, in addition to Xanax, Risperdol, Aricept, and I don't know what else. I spoke with his doctor on Monday to ask whether the disease was progressing more rapidly or the increased confused might be medicine related. He agreed to lower the Risperdol to see if that might help.

I was off today so Mom wanted to go see him. He was sitting, as usual, in his wheelchair near the Nurses' Station. We took him back to his room. Mom began to cry, but we kept talking to him. She was patting his hands in his lap, and he raised her hand and began to kiss it, making little smacking noises, about 20 kisses at a time. Every time she lowered her hand, he would lift it to his lips and kiss it again. Then he looked at me and lifted his arms like he wanted a hug. I know deep down, my Dad's in there. How sad but hopeful, even while knowing what the outcome must be.

Mom wanted to stay with him while I went to my Weight Watcher's meeting, and she had me ask the nurses to put him in bed so she could just sit beside him. When I returned a while later, she was fine and her sister-in-law Peggy was there with her daughter Aleta. We left a short time later. I told her I thought maybe if she visited him and stayed a little longer she would not be so shocked every time she saw him, but maybe could adjust to his condition a little. She told me later that when the girls came in to put him in bed, he tried to kiss them too. What a lover boy!